Well, this week I purchased an LG Dare. It is not the Iphone, but it works well and now I can check email and web from my cell phone. It actually has saved me time at home as I am using the computer less.

It seems that just yesterday I was a young boy marveling at my brother's fancy slide rule. ;-)

Well, we made the leap from dial-up connection to cable modem. It is much faster and, strangely, we spend less time on the computer. Since we get done so much quicker, we're done and off the machine.

Now the next decision is whether to get a cell phone with internet...

Well, I was recently invited to be a panelist on a podcast. It is probably dry material for most folks, but just in case:

http://atomic.thepodcastnetwork.com/2008/01/14/the-atomic-show-079-ft-st-vrain-energy-comparisons-uk-nuclear-decision/

Don't know if it will make me famous, but it was fun to participate. :-)

Hey everyone,
It's been a while since I posted anything here, but heres the news.
I have one year of animation left at QUT, and I'm hoping to go to singapore on student exchange in august. I started a webcomic recently, it's inspired by my recent brush with psychosis in july 07
http://mymysterydisease.com/

I was surprised yesterday to see that Vanity Fair devoted their July issue to Africa:

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/africa

I typically don't read the magazine, but I find it interesting they are covering the continent. Perhaps it shows that the world has truly changed.

My first job in the utility industry was 22 years ago. I was an intern just like many of the younger folks today starting out in their careers. It has been (and hopefull continue to be) a good ride. Hope the young people starting in their career paths have an equally interesting time. :-)

I got married. Even more amazing is I am still married. This IS a day to count my blessings (even our cat who likes to bite me). ;-)

Silence is.

i felt like writing today
i did, i really did
but i stepped outside
and my words slipped away
and now i'm so afraid
i have little left to say

i'm trying hard to catch my breath. i'm tumbling, breathing, falling into a routine i'm sometimes afraid i only halfway understand. early morning, confused sunlight trickles in through the cracks in the half-open blinds. i call the sunlight here confused because it is-- silvery-grey sun stands which seem to be as if they are trying harder to be moonlight than they are sunlight. i want to catch one, and ask it how much longer until spring. i'm waiting for a sundrop to fall into my bag one morning, but it hasn't happened yet. wake up, chilled blue hands rub sleepy eyes begging for just a few more minutes of semiconscious solitude. i have yet to be painted in daylight, thus eyes close and i retreat. get out of bed late again and i do what i do every morning. wash face, brush teeth, throw mismatched clothes on, rush breakfast and fall in love for the first time. take the same breaths everyday. i'm all right. same air, different eyes. i'm taking it all in and i want to maximize the life i touch with my senses, one day it's greenery emerging from the browning snow, the next it's the operatic voice drifting from the window of a practice room, open against regulation. i want to walk underneath all the arches in a ten-mile radius.

city lights city lights i'm looking for a well lit place i can sit down in, rest my head and watch the rest just fade away for a little while

i wonder what different is like

I have an irrational fear of icicles.

There, I've said it. I love their beauty and the grace in their glistening form. I'd have to say that the icicles here are one of my favorite things to see every day, walking the usual route from my dorm to main campus for food and classes, and then back again. I suppose that right now, this is my entire existence. I have my school, its homework, its snow... and the icicles.

Every time I walk past any of our gorgeous snow-topped brick buildings, I watch the icicles as I pass by. This is partially because they are beautiful. This is also because I can't help but be afraid that one of them is going to take offense with me and somehow fall on me. Shining, glimmering, all the way down to the needle-thin point... there's a deadly charm I find in the tip of an icicle. I avoid them with wary eyes, wondering if any of them will try and hurt me.

What else can I say?

It's an irrational fear. It's not supposed to make any sense.

I am accidentally falling in love with the most amazing man on earth.

that is all.

salam.

Hah. Reading my old blog, back from four years ago.... I can't believe I was fourteen when I wrote some of this. I am enjoying looking back on the kid I once was. I guess I still see a lot of her in me.


DAWN.

The wind whispers through the trees, its echoes ringing throughout the morning air. The rain ceases to fall as daylight creeps upon my side of the earth. As the gentle dripping sound of the rain slows gradually to a halt, pale rose-hued clouds become visible in the sky above. All in all, the chill of the previous night seems innocuous when followed by the magnificence of the coming day.

The simple coming of a new day will often cause one to become reflective of the things that surround them. With life itself comes the dreams that we are made of, and the desires and hopes we all have. Looking into my future, I am uncertain of what follows me from here. Although I suppose it’s all really like the dawn, because I know it’s coming, but then, what comes with it? We know that the sunlight will always come in the morning, but just like in our lives, we don’t know for sure whether it’s going to come with rain or clouds. Does tomorrow hold tears, bliss, or a little bit of both?

Hush. Listen closely. Watch the sky light up with the brilliance of day… It’s almost as beautiful as your smile.



Funny how, four years later, I still get this contemplative when I see the sun rise. Huh, maybe I was right.

Sometimes I don't know whether I should feel appreciative that my life is so wonderful, or guilty because I have more than is necessary while many have much less.

Point in case:

I have a surplus of happiness. Not only am I an eternal optimist, but my generally positive attitude is augmented by the fact that I am falling in love with an incredible man and I have the opportunity to get an amazing education at a wonderful university. I always have food and shelter and I'm aware that my existence is beyond relatively comfortable.

On the other hand:

I read the news on a regular basis. My main interest is in Lebanon, and the what the papers are saying upsets me. I am genuinely afraid of the world we live in. Our environment is deteriorating, people are thinking of better ways to kill one another, and diplomacy and economics are so fiercly intertwined that it's near impossible to come to a diplomatic agreement if there isn't some sort of economic benefit for someone. Political realists argue that human nature is inherently deceitful and manipulative, and that we need to adjust our policies according to what is best for the preservation of a state. I prefer the ideology of the liberals, but realists have a point-- you can't expect everyone to act ethically. I am afraid of living in a world where my government is forced to lie or manipulate in order to keep its best interests at hand. It's not just the United States, any government is concerned with the acquisition and maintainence of power in pursuit of self-preservation.

Honestly, I don't know what the point of this blog entry is, but I know I'm afraid of living some sort of hollow existence that doesn't really chase any sort of meaning save perpetuating itself. I don't want to be a part of a society whose only goal is to just keep existing, but I don't really know what other alternative there is. I guess it's a silly question to have, people have been asking questions about purpose since the beginning of our existence, and no one's really found any answers I find satisfactory. What's the point?

I guess I'm afraid of chasing a whole bunch of nothing in a world already rapidly deteriorating.

i am sick and i do not sleep enough.

i should probably write something more interesting when i am awake.

but just so you know, life is still pretty good right now.